Inside My World

I’ve made mistakes. Done things I’m now repentant of. Missed my chances. Failed and stumbled. Cried a lot.

If only I could travel back in time, I will make sure I wouldn’t commit the same mistakes I did. I would live a better life. For myself and for others. For the Father’s glory.

But I can’t.

But then again I know it doesn’t stop here. I wouldn’t be who I am today if not for the same mistakes I did. Yesterday"s failures and past hurts should not cause me to stumble. Instead, they should cause me to yearn to take hold of tomorrow’s promises.

If only I was perfect. But I am not.

And so I thank God for second chances.

Last night, I didn’t get to sleep at all. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot- and I mean A LOT!- I started developing dark circles around my eyes, and eye bags too!… So this is how it feels to have one’s heart in one’s boots… I’ve never felt anything like this before in my so-called life. When I was young I can’t wait to become an adult; but now I wanted to turn back the time and just be young once again, back to when I was carefree and clueless and naive… If yowling could just make these thoughts go away…but they wouldn’t.

But I know I have no choice. I have to decide to overcome them, not be overcome by them.  However huge and gargantuan the mountain be ahead of me, I decide right now to hope for the best after the climb. Though thick, black clouds shield what my eyes could see today, I still believe one day the sun will shine brightly after the storm.